Day 2

The morning visit of day 2 started off much the same as day 1. After a few minutes of stickers and crayons and "this will be ok", we went into a meltdown. But this one was much shorter lived. We were able to soothe her, and comfort her and after several minutes of down time, we were able to re-ingauge her in play.

She is very much a tactile learner. She looked like her cousin Ashley touching everything to see what it was. She and Leigh played with the balls in the ball pit. Leigh would roll them around the room, and the Diana would take them and put them into the other ball pit. By the time the visit was over she seemed to be much more comfortable with us. Even as people would come in and out she didn't have the same reactions as the first day. And we didn't have anymore breakdowns. After a little cajoling, we convinced the orphanage staff that since we didn't have anything else to do in Kotlas, so they should let us come back for the afternoon visit.

The afternoon visit was by far the best. We were able to go outside again, and Diana played with just us while we waited for her group to come out. She played with the bubble fan, and ran with us (or from us kinda hard to tell sometimes) and let us catch her and toss her around a bit. When her group came out, she fell right in with them but she had her new bubble toy and wasn't quite ready to share. They tell us that, “nobody takes her toys.” She would play with her group, but always checked over her shoulder to make sure we were watching her.

Then on the see-saw we saw it, the smiles, the giggles, even a little laughter. Deep down inside of this tough exterior shell is our little Anna Beth. She didn't let us see if for to long, like she suddenly remembered, “I am not supposed to let them see this” but it is there.
After play time, we went with her group back to her room. Her caregivers told us that she had surprisingly awakened from her afternoon nap early, and had hopped and skipped around like she was expecting us back. We got to take her to the potty again, and then came one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. After five years of knowing this time would come, it didn't make it any easier. They let us leave some things for her in her locker, then she gave us the biggest hugs you can imagine. We told her bye again and she waived. Then we had to leave quickly so that she couldn't see that it was us having the meltdowns this time. We spent the rest of the evening back at the hotel watching a movie and trying to rest. We are both so emotionally drained that we could do little more. We will be back, just not soon enough for any of the three of us.